R. Kelly finally breaks his silence following his arrest on sexual abuse charges in an interview with CBS This Morning co-host, Gayle King. Parts of the 80-minute interview have aired and people are choosing sides. Everyone wants to know, “Did R. Kelly Do It?”
R. Kelly is being charged with 10 counts of aggravated sexual abuse relating to misconduct with four women, three of whom were underage at the time of their alleged assaults. In January 2019, Lifetime premiered Surviving R. Kelly, a six-part docuseries that detailed the allegations against Kelly. It featured accounts from multiple women who say they escaped Kelly’s “cult” and interviews with some of the women’s parents. Amongst interviews are Jocelyn Savage and Azriel Clary’s parents. Who believe Kelly is holding their daughters against their will or have brainwashed them. Again, Robert Kelly has denied everything.
Below, we have analyzed some red flags and potential behavioral patterns of batterers that stood out during this interview.
RED FLAG #1: R. Kelly says, “Rescue someone that doesn’t need rescuing cause they’re not in my house.” However, a video soon to follow shows him confessing to his relationships with 23-year-old Jocelyn Savage and 21-year-old Azriel Clary. According to their parents, the two young women need to be rescued. The question is, are they in the house or not? If they are in the house willingly, why won’t they talk to their parents?
RED FLAG #2: He’s stated that he doesn’t know what a cult is, which is problematic. If he doesn’t know what a cult is, how can he be sure that he doesn’t have one?
RED FLAG #3: When speaking on the docuseries, Surviving R. Kelly, Kelly says, “Everyone said something bad about me. Nobody said nothing good. They were describing Lucifer.” It is true that the women addressed R. Kelly and Robert as two different people. Most of the women said great things about R. Kelly, and described Robert as Lucifer in the sense that he’s a charismatic charmer that sings his way into people’s hearts. Before delving into Robert’s sexual behaviors, they spoke A LOT about R. Kelly being a sweet and caring man who would give the world to the people around him, but when Robert takes over, it’s scary.
RED FLAG #4: When R. Kelly starts crying, I can’t say that I don’t think he’s hurting. However, I do believe that his tears stem from a different source of pain. Think for a second. Have you ever witnessed a man cry when he realizes something in his life is being taken from him? Most times, men don’t cry because they feel bad. They cry because they’ve been caught or don’t know how to fix the problem. He feels like shit because he is now realizing everything he did in the past and the present is catching up with him. He can’t find an escape route. This is my perception of R. Kelly’s pain.
EXAMPLE: Society for the most part, doesn’t accept underage dating and it’s illegal. In some states, parents can sign their children over to a spouse from the age of sixteen. Also, there are men in certain neighborhoods that prey on younger, more vulnerable women. It makes them seem more manly to have young women chasing after them. If R. Kelly surrounds himself by a crowd of people that encourage his actions, why would he change? At that point, neither the law nor outside opinions matter to him. Who is going to finally stand up and tell R. Kelly, “No”? What consequences will he face? Consider this as you listen to his outbursts.
He uses the words, “ABDUCTED, RAPED, and CHAINED” when describing women that really need help. Again, the women that are in his alleged “cult” are technically not being held against their will, but if the allegations are correct, he has psychologically brainwashed them. They may not be in physical bondage, but they’re definitely in bondage.
RED FLAG #5: I believe that R. Kelly truly thinks his behaviors, minor or extreme, are unproblematic. It’s actually pretty scary to watch/hear because R. Kelly is far from the first who hasn’t comprehended their wrongdoing, nor will he be the last.
He even speaks about arresting himself if his daughters were said to be enduring the same abuse that he’s allegedly guilty of. WHAT??? I can’t! Help him PLEASE!!!
RED FLAG #6: R. Kelly says, “How come it was okay for me to see them until they wasn’t getting no money from me…What kind of a father, what kind of mother would sell their daughter to a man?”
He still doesn’t fully understand what he’s saying. He literally admitted to buying two young women from their parents. If he did purchase these young women, keep in mind that Azriel Clary was 17-year-old when they met. Clary is now 21-years-old and according to Kelly, the two are now in a romantic relationship. If that’s the case, is he expecting people to believe that he waited until she was 18-years-old to legally engage in sexual intercourse with her? If there was no sexual intercourse between the two, was romance a NO altogether? This whole damn scenario is messed up. R. Kelly should not be dating or interested in anyone younger than 21-years-old. He needs help ASAP.
“An emotionally abusive partner will systematically and intentionally try to separate the victim from their external network of support: friends, family, co-workers, clergy. This is designed to make the victim solely dependent upon the abuser and to decrease the likelihood that others will witness the abuse. The more a victim is isolated, the harder it is for them to be connected to the resources they need to escape the relationship.” ― Ferentz HUFFPOST
Recognizing the Signs: I’m not sure if anyone else picked up on this, but R. Kelly shows many signs that are common of an abuser.
Sign 1: He talked over King every time she spoke. This shows that he is used to controlling a conversation. Also, he stood up and started yelling, which is a sign of a verbal and emotional abusers. They use their dominance to show people that they’re in charge.
Sign 2: He wouldn’t take responsibility for any of his actions.
“It’s extremely rare for an emotionally abusive partner to take responsibility for his or her behavior. Their tactic is to project responsibility or fault onto their partner. They will deceptively twist reality, distort the truth or outright lie to make the case that their partner is to blame. The subject matter becomes irrelevant as the emotionally abusive partner sidesteps responsibility at all cost.” ― Carol A. Lambert, psychotherapist and author of Women With Controlling Partners HUFFPOST
I’m sure there are other things that I didn’t catch. If you can identify any other signs or red flags that you’re willing to discuss, comment below!
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